I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
