Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
