I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
