You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
