uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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