names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
