make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
