Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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