nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
