You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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