i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
