everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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