very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
