do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
