Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
