New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
