Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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