My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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