sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
