I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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