I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
