I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
