What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
