i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
