So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
