I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
