I got chris browned last night
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Let's get the cat blown out
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
