Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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