Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
