Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
