Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
