just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
