I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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