A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
