you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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