he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's just like the Real World with babies
my being single is dangerous.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
