areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
