I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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