I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
