I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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