I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
not ubering you a puppy
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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