What a fucking waste of an outfit
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
These tits shall not be calmed
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