rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
