I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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