Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
