Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
