I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Drake has all the answers
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
