Are we in a gay sports bar?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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