Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
