Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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