Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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