I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
