Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
...so i touched it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Alive.
So much puke
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
