I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
