If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
