I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
