so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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