is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
