Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
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