i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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