We're like a lot better than the average bears
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
