I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
