smell my finger.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
