Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
