addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
