we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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