I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
