Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
